I have been married almost 6 years to my wonderful wife. I have recently realized something about our marriage, and most likely most marriages. There is usually a GREAT big disconnect and tension between a husband and wife as soon as the words "I do" are uttered. When men say "I do" it signifies a feat of completion. When a woman says "I do", it signifies a feat of initiation. As a man, when I said "I do" I thought "I have done it!" Because we are hunter's and gatherers, it means I have laid out my best bait, sat in the stand, tracked, put on the scope, and now I have bagged the "Big One", and it is time to mount it on the wall, sit back in my recliner, take it easy and enjoy it." In other words, in order to "get the girl" I pulled out all the stops, romanced her, money, time, flowers, awesome engagement, "crazy" love stuff, and to get to the "I do". So when she says "I do", the man thinks "Good, I'm tired, let's just sit back and enjoy"
Meanwhile, when the girl says "I do" she is thinking "this is just the launching pad" and he has laid such as awesome foundation of romance and love, that now the sky is the limit. He did all these awesome things for me when we were just dating, I can't imagine what is in store now that we are married!!
You see, tension, friction, from Day 1. Usually, the wife's expectations skyrocket, and the man's effort plummets. Obviously, I am talking about what is the natural tendency, and not necessarily what should be. I know that daily I should seek ways to love, romance, and make my wife feel especially loved. I should do this everyday for the rest of our lives. But for me, at least, it takes the conscious choice to make this happen, and not always what I do naturally.